Posted by: brian | April 11, 2007

MySpace sucks?

Part of me left an awesome blog entry over at MySpace. I decided to peruse the FAQ, to see how helpful it was.

I’m not sure it’s helpful, but it sure is hilarious.

Category 1: Artist/Band Questions.
Questions include:
How do I become a featured artist?
Someone is pretending to be my band, what do I do? (complete with comma splice)
What is a “copyright”?

Another fun category: Media Inquiry.
“How do I remove my child’s profile from” seems misplaced here. Fortunately, if you’re looking by category, you can also find it under “Other.” The answer is wonderful: “Please work with your child to remove the account.” It also includes this gem: “If you do not receive the confirmation email, please remove all content from your child’s profile, and enter in the text ‘Remove Profile’ in the ‘About Me’. This lets us know that you have taken control of your child’s account.”

How about “How do we remove an imposter profile for a teacher/faculty member?”

Or: “I’m a journalist and I want to talk to someone at MySpace. Who can I contact?”
The answer reads like a customer service script: “Thank you for your MySpace media inquiry. We want to do our best to meet any pressing deadlines you may have. Please dial the MySpace media line at (800) 905-9324 in order to leave your full contact information, brief story overview and deadline. Again, thank you for your inquiry and we’ll speak to you soon. Any non-media inquiries will not receive a response.”

Lots of questions relate to harassment and abuse. *YAWN*

My favorite: “Why is my Profile page suddenly messed up? It has music, sound or strange graphics on it?” The last line of the answer is the best: “We strongly encourage you to attempt to resolve these issues yourself using the above solutions.” Which sounds like total assholery, but then when you think about it, if the profile is effed up, it’s probably luser error, so the “technical group” wouldn’t be able to fix it anyway.



  1. The FAQ was obviously written by someone as precise in their language as whoever wrote the error “message.” Oh, and maybe only journalists want to remove their child’s profile?

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