Posted by: brian | June 19, 2007

New excuse: "The Buick made me do it."

Catholicism demonstrates again why it is utterly pointless in the modern world with its 10 commandments for drivers. Seriously, what is the point of this inane drivel?

Favorite lines:

Holy Mother Church urges drivers to, among other things, “refrain from drinking and driving, and to pray you make it before you even buckle up.”
I’m sorry, don’t we already have a pretty strong cultural pressure against drinking & driving? And if I’m so unsure of my driving skill that I have to pray that I survive a trip to the mall, I really ought to consider riding the bus instead.

They “also warned that automobiles can be ‘an occasion of sin’ — particularly when they are used for dangerous passing or for prostitution.”
These two examples aren’t exactly similar in the eyes of the law. Again, if societal pressure isn’t keeping you from picking up hookers, I doubt this ridiculous edict will have any effect.

Some church guy says, “We know that as a consequence of transgressions and negligence, 1.2 million people die each year on the roads. That’s a sad reality, and at the same time, a great challenge for society and the church.”
Actually, I don’t see the necessity for the church in this equation. Maybe they’re desperately trying to assert some degree of relevance in a world that would be better off without them?

Church guy also notes “that the Bible was full of people on the move, including Mary and Joseph, the parents of Jesus.”
WTF does that have to do with anything? Moby Dick takes place on a boat, but I haven’t seen anyone suggest that it should be a guide for ocean travel.

“drivers can kill themselves and others if they don’t get their cars regular tuneups”
So now will I be committing a sin if I don’t get my oil changed every 3000 miles? How many Hail Marys will absolve me of that?

Saying the Rosary while driving is “particularly well suited to recitation by all in the car since its ‘rhythm and gentle repetition does not distract the driver’s attention.'”
Nice. Growing up in a strongly Catholic household, I can remember always having trouble keeping track of which little plastic bead I was supposed to be holding on to. Sounds pretty distracting to me.

Commandment number 8 reads: “Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.”
This is one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever heard.

Sorry to go on – I’ll leave the remainder to your own analysis.

PZ Myers over at Pharyngula sums it up nicely:

The Vatican can’t put together a rational policy on contraception, a far more serious problem for the world and to which their beliefs contribute, but they can send out these trivial and irritatingly idiotic suggestions for drivers?

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