Posted by: brian | July 23, 2007

More quality TV

A while back I noted the quality programming available on The Learning Channel. Remember “The Man Whose Arms Exploded” and “When Sleep Goes Bad”? I figured out their programming philosophy based on those programs and tonight’s line-up: “I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day,” “World’s Heaviest Man,” and “Help! I’m a Hoarder!” I’m pretty sure that philosophy can be paraphrased as: “Sensational exploitation of people whose lives are miserable.”

I have some ideas for them:
….”Isolated From Reality. A documentary examination of home-schooled kids.”
….”Edward Rubberhands. A Pennsylvania family shares a genetic disorder that gives them rubbery skin and stretchable bones.”
….”Circus Freaks, Nothing But Circus Freaks. You get the idea.”
….”I Can’t Stop Masturbating! Profiles of people with painfully chafed genitalia.”
….”Manimal. Looks at the case of a man with a cat growing out of his torso.”
….”Miscarriages, Miscarriages, Miscarriages! A woman who has had over two dozen miscarriages discusses her continued attempts to reproduce.”

….”Satan Incarnate: The Secret Life of Dick Cheney. Geraldo Rivera leads an exclusive investigation into the Dark Lord’s secret underground lair. (Asbestos suit advisory)”

Okay, that last one doesn’t quite fit in with the aforementioned credo, but maybe we should include people who make others miserable?

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