Posted by: brian | August 22, 2007

FAQ (updated)

This FAQ should clear up some of the burning questions you, my dear readers, have about the blog. As for that burning sensation in your crotch area, I can only suggest you see a medical professional. The FAQ will be updated as other important questions arise, so consider it a continuous work in progress.

Q: Why do you call yourself “lady with a hat”?
A: That’s a good question, considering that I am neither a lady, nor a hat.

Q: How often will you post updates? Is it safe for me to ignore this blog for months at a time, or do I need to check daily for your scintillating insight into all manner of issues?
A: I expect that if you check back once a week or so, you’ll do fine. I’ve found that during school it is difficult for me to keep up, and I can go for 2 or 3 weeks without posting anything, but then I’ll post 12 entries in a single day, or some such. I suggest you use some random system, such as the roll of a die or the flip of a coin, as your guide in this matter.

Q: Is it hard to type with that cat on top of your hand?
A: No, surprisingly not. Sitting in this chair affords the cat a comfortable space lying across my wrist and pinning my hand down, but still allows free movement of the fingers necessary for typing.

Q: What sort of content can I expect?
A: Rants, raves, my (invariably correct) opinions. I might post an entry about what I had for lunch, followed immediately by a post about some news item of national import. You’ll find I’m typically arrogant, often ill-informed, and consistently quick to judge. Simultaneously, if you can point out an error in my factual references, I’ll graciously accept your outpointing. If you want to bitch about my reasoning or opinions, keep it short – I’m unlikely to engage in a flame war with a half-wit, so don’t waste our time. If you don’t like what you see, go read something else.

Q: Am I likely to be offended by this blog?
A: Very probably. Given how easy it is to offend people these days, and how enjoyable it iscanbe to do so, I expect to offend everybody, eventually.

Q: Is it safe to click your links from my workplace computer?
A: Most of the time, yes. If a link is clearly Not Safe For Work (NSFW) I will flag it. If it’s a bit off-color or potentially creepy, I’ll also point that out. Any links that lack qualifiers should be considered safe for mixed company of various ages.

Q: Why do you hate America?
A: Piss off.

Q: Jesus Christ, you sure like to rag on religion. Why can’t you give it a rest? What did organized religion ever do to you?
A: Organized religion is arguably the most destructive force in the modern world. I do not deny that during the Middle Ages Holy Mother Church helped preserve historical records and such. I also do not deny that despite the cultural destruction wrought by missionaries, many religious organizations do a lot to help third-world populations. However! The modern world has no room for superstitious beliefs about a magic sky-man who watches what you do and can’t wait for you to slip up so he can punish you. I’m not even going to go into the numerous examples of violence carried out in the name of one god or another. In the socio-cultural evolution of humanity, we need to now throw off these childish ideas and establish a new attitude toward morality. We need a system of ethics and morals based in our understanding of the inherent value of our humanity, not founded on ancient fictions. As for what organized religion has done to me: Plenty. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, growing up gay and Catholic really fucks with one’s head. Seriously. And that shit needs to stop. Right now.

Q: How much school do you have left?
A: I plan to finish my degree in the Spring of 2008. Then I’ll need to find a job to pay off the ridiculous amount of debt I’ve accrued over the past couple of years. If anyone wins a lottery, and wants to help me out, I’m not too proud to accept the offer.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: It varies. An artist, a cat, a dog, independently wealthy, or I don’t plan to grow up.

Q: Wait – what are you going to school for? You must be going to art school, right? Cuz there are no schools I know of that give out degrees in independent wealthiness, or “dog” or “cat.”
A: First of all, I’m currently working on a degree in Landscape Architecture. Secondly, that just shows what you know.

Q: Oh, so you can come and landscape my yard then, right?
A: Yes, I could. Like most people, you stopped listening after the word “Landscape.” Congratulations. While a landscape architect could do much more than residential yards, I’m not going to waste time telling you about it, because for all I know you’ll stop listening halfway through. You’ve probably stopped listening already. Also, you are a booger.

Q: Hey!
A: Huh. I guess you were listening after all.


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