Posted by: brian | October 27, 2008

I want money! I want money!

This morning on NPR I heard a story about how a number of insurance companies are now wanting in on the $700 billion Government Give-Away Plan. What I got out of it was that every big corporation in the country is trying to finagle their way into some of that money. Considering that there was no clear plan on what to do with the money, and Congress was too stupid to require one or to build any substantial oversight and accountability into the program, I guess I’m not surprised. Our esteemed Treasury Secretary can’t even make up his effing mind on what to do with his newfound blank check. I can only imagine he’ll walk away from the deal with a hefty bonus, regardless of what happens – kind of like how CEOs are raking in huge compensation packages even when they drive companies into the ground. I think I should become a CEO, because it seems like a cushy job, and one where performance doesn’t matter.

When the first Government Give-Away Plan was voted down by the House, I was actually happy. I thought, I don’t want them jumping to a conclusion so quickly. I’d like to see them take an extra week or two and think things through more carefully. I figured that after the first proposal was shot down, they would step back and try to build a better one. Instead, they played politics and tried to figure out how to bribe enough people to get the thing to pass, and built a more costly plan that has no improvements in substance. And where has it gotten us? Markets continue to fall, unemployment rises, and people lose homes they never should have been allowed to purchase in the first place. Every two days, Paulson announces some new “plan.” Does this fuckwad have a clue what he’s doing? How the hell did he get that job? Seriously, I could do at least as well as he’s doing.

I have to figure out a way to get my hands on a quarter-million bucks of that money. Let’s see… I’m a homeowner struggling to pay a mortgage, and I spent three years and way too much money trying to educate myself into a better job that’s not going to materialize. Is that enough of a sob story for me to get some cash? It may not be of the same magnitude, but it bears a strong resemblance to the “We fucked up! Bail us out!” story all the corporations are telling.

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