Posted by: brian | January 27, 2009

Emergency procedures

The place I’m almost done working at has a set of Emergency Procedures posted in every cubicle. Most of them are pretty bland, but two of them make me giggle a little bit.

Elevator failure:
If you are in the elevator pick up elevator phone. Listen to message. If phone rings, answer it. If phone is inoperable, push and hold the elevator “Emergency Call” button. A bell will ring to alert people in the building of your problem.

That last sentence makes me wonder, will those people do anything to help me, or will they just laugh at me? “Hey guys! Gary’s stuck in the elevator again! HAHAHAHA! What a dumbass!”

Bomb Threat:
REMAIN CALM AND GET AS MUCH INFORMATION FROM THE CALLER AS POSSIBLE.

  • Where is the bomb?
  • What time will it go off?
  • What is the method of activation?
  • What kind of package or box?
  • What is the method of deactivation?

Okay, so someone phones in a bomb threat, and then they tell you where to find the bomb and how to deactiviate it? Why don’t they tell you their name and address while they’re at it, so that the police can find them more easily.

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